Ok, so I might exaggerate. I did not clinically have a mental breakdown, but it sure feels like it.
I have gotten a few emails wondering where I have been..lemme ‘splain.
Let’s just say I have been out of sorts as of late. It all started with trying to figure out my damn migraines. Granted, I have been having them for years and years, but I am fed up with them. I have narrowed them down to Menstrual migraines…you know, when Aunt Flo decides to visit. They come on slow, I know they are coming, but they are debilitating and sometimes last for 4 days..completely excruciating. Before you say…”oh, have you tried this?” The answer is YES, yes and YES. I have tried it all. I have done acupuncture, tried every possible prescription medication available know to man. Taken herbal supplements. Had massages. Tired the “mind over matter” bull sh*t. Nothing helps, nothing AT ALL. Seems totally unfair if you ask me. It really affects my life. Makes it very difficult to juggle daily deeds, let alone train for a marathon(oh yeah, did I mention I am running the NYC marathon?)
I go to my Gyno and beg him for help. He said my last option is birth control. Uggggg. I have not been on birth control in probably 14 years. Me and birth control don’t like each other. The last time I took it, I gained an unGodly amount of weight and my hair started to fall out. Super fun. But to be honest, I am desperate, desperate to have my life back. So I agreed to go down the dreaded birth control route. I was actually excited to start. The thought of maybe being migraine free seemed to outweigh the possibility of 10 more pounds and a receding hairline!
I started the pill. Day one…CHECK.
Day two…CHECK..this is simple
Day three, four, five blah blah blah..OMG, I felt like I was in my first trimester of being pregnant. I was nauseous 24/7. I felt like ass. Tired and nauseous. Not good..not good at all.
Well, the nausea finally subsided by week 2 and then the anger started. Geeze, can’t a girl catch a break?
I remember when it started. I was sitting at my computer and I felt like this wave of anger took over me, like I wanted to punch something. Ohhhh my, it was awful. I felt like I was crawling out of my skin. I had never felt like that before. That was about a week ago. I am still bitchy, but I don’t feel like I literally want to kill someone.
The pill has seemed to take away all my drive as well. I don’t want to do much of anything.I don’t want to blog. I don’t want to keep up on social media. Check my email?…gag me with a spoon. Oh, and then there is the house. I am a clean freak..and I don’t even feel like cleaning. Don’t feel like socializing. And I feel super crazy bloated and puffy.
Is this all worth not having migraines, uh, I don’t know..you might want to check with my husband.!!???
I am just hoping this is my body getting used to the hormones. Might take a few months, right?? Has anyone else had these issues with birth control? I will keep you posted on if my husband decides to divorce his crazy ass bitch wife in the mean time!
And just about the time I feel about a quarter better, my son gets stomatitis, a nasty painful viral mouth infection where your mouth and throat is infested with canker sore like sores. And I am sure you can guess what happens next…YEP..I have it now too. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? nahhhh, I wouldn’t kid like that. Emma has it too now.
I like to think I have my sh*it together. But right now, I feel like it is all coming apart. Depressed, sick and unmotivated. So bare with me with while my estrogen gets back to its normal self. I hope to report back to you in a few weeks that I am cured of my migraines. I am sure that will make all of this worth it!
I have a few posts lined up for you while I am on my “take a ride on the crazy train” leave of absence. So I have not forgotten about you totally.
So know you know why I have been absent from my blog, your blogs, twitter, Facebook, Stumble Upon, Pinterest and everywhere else. Kinda felt like I owed you and explanation.