Broken Resolutions

Everyone seems so Gung-Ho this time of the year about listing their New Years resolutions.

Well, I am a realist. I know damn well if I made a resolution, I am going to break it. So I am going to share with you some of my past resolutions..all in which I have broken. Just keepin it real people, just keepin it real. Yeah Me.
DIET….um yeah, thats a joke
STOP PICKING AT MY FACE…you see I am a picker, dont even come near me if you have a zit on your nose, I will hold you down with all my might a pop it.
STOP EATING CHOCOLATE…who was I kidding with that one?
HAVE MORE PATIENCE…that one lasted 2 seconds.
MAKE A WEEKLY DINNER MENU…well maybe, just maybe, I like going to the grocery store four times a week..so THERE!
SAVE MORE MONEY…Williams Sonoma would be very upset with me if I stuck with that one.
HAVE MORE SELF CONFIDENCE…I wasted my pretty years thinking I was fat and ugly. If I only knew..if I only knew. I still avoid the bathroom mirror on the way into the shower.
STOP BEING A PESSIMIST…but my glass is half empty. If you fill it up I will be happy.
TRY TO REMEMBER PEOPLES NAMES…oh, I am sorry, what did you say your name was??
KEEP MY RECIPES ORGANIZED BETTER…I like my messy binders. I know where everything is.
Well I am sure there are a thousand more resolutions I forgot. Oh thats another one..HAVE A BETTER MEMORY.

Comments

  1. 1
    Anonymous says:

    Very funny. I mean it, I laughed all the way through. So many resolutions, so little reality!
    Well, I am trying the diet one. Again. And again. And again. Starting tomorrow. (My last houseguest left this morning.)
    Happy New Year my friend!

  2. 2

    Oops, sorry. I accidentally hit the wrong key. That comment was mine!
    (I'm already hungry)

  3. 3

    You crack me up! Yeah, I am on a diet and I just ate a handful of leftover chocolate chips…but it was a very small handful…LOL!

  4. 4

    Organization and remembering things is SO over rated. Who needs it? Have a great new year!

  5. 5

    You kill me with reality.
    Okay, if the glass is half full or half empty then there is room for more. More love, more friends, more life, more laughter, more joy, more chocolate, more, more, more. If it is full then you have to get rid of something for more to fit in.
    My resolution is big and broad, me too ha ha. It is to change my life.

  6. 6

    Ha! My girlfriend is a picker too. Good thing for her I had several sisters who trained me to sit still for it. :D

  7. 7

    Everything in moderation. Try your best, don't worry about going from a bikini to a one piece and just eat healthy and be a good person, mom, wife.

    Happy New Year!

  8. 8

    Ha! I'm exactly the same way. Thanks for being honest :)

  9. 9

    Love the list of your former resolutions. Stop eating chocolate? Girl!! No no no no no!!

  10. 10
    TheFitnessFreak says:

    Hey, if they were meant to be kept they would be called New Years Definetelys and there NOT! Well, that's me excuse anyway ; )

    Maybe we should make a New Years Resolution to just have more fun. There. I can stick with that one!

  11. 11

    Your honesty is refreshing! Last year I went a different route and made a resolution I thought I could keep: get more manicures. Good grooming is important, right?

  12. 12
    Erin from Long Island says:

    Sometimes I feel like I am the only person who doesn't pretend I am going to drastically change myself the first day of every year. I mean, c'mon people, you hadn't stuffed yourself for 2 months, you wouldn't need the damn diet anyway!

    My New Year's Resolutions are to drink more wine (instead of beer) and find new ways to prepare potatoes.

    Happy New Year!

  13. 13
    Anonymous says:

    Those could have been my resolutions, (instead of Williams Sonoma, I'd say Sur La Table!) One consolation- I remember my mom saying she stopped picking when her eyesight got worse.
    Happy New Year!

  14. 14

    Leslie, you crack me up!

    I am the same way….IF I make a New Years Resolution it will be broken….LOL.
    I am not sure if I met someone that stuck with a New Years resolution. Ha!

  15. 15
    Donna-FFW says:

    Your humor, I just love it, slightly sarcastic and oh so real. I am not a resolution maker either. Lifes too short for that for me. And I suck at keeping them.

  16. 16

    lol, oh how i relate to that!

  17. 17
    cookies and cups says:

    haha, I have never stuck to my resolutions either. I totally get what you're saying about the pretty years. If only I could go back and tell my younger self to get over it and enjoy!

  18. 18

    You rock! I don't make resolutions either and you just said it all WHY I don't.
    Great post!

  19. 19

    Love your broken resolutions! I identify with a lot of them :)

  20. 20

    yeah no kidding right? but you did leave out the whole Cheez It part.
    one of my new years resolution is to try not to fart while at the gym.

  21. 21

    *raising her hand, red-faced and ashamed*……I am a picker too!! ARGH! It's a horrible habit and I get so mad at myself for doing it but I cannot stop!

  22. 22

    Those resolutions all look way too familiar to me!!!! I think I've made each one of those at one time or another. The dinner menu had me really going. I thought I was the only one having a hard time with that. It is really hard to do!!! And I wasted many a teenage year just thinking I was totally hideous looking…Oh, what the heck was WRONG with me!!!! LOL!

  23. 23

    Keepin it real – love it! I've made (and broken) most of these resolutions myself!

  24. 24

    I am with you on the memory thing! Forget the whole idea of a diet and lets be honest, most people with that resolution NEVER keep it so right now its pretty funny to read all the 'I'm eating healthy" statements! Ah well, one can have hope in the new year, right? Hope you are doing good.

  25. 25

    Good one! I can relate. Which is why I don't really brother either.
    ~ingrid

  26. 26

    if you find a way of better organizing recipes, let me know! my binder is bursting too! :)

  27. 27

    You totally crack me up! The black and white photo of you is STUNNING!

  28. 28
    pigpigscorner says:

    lol…and man..don't remind me of my diet…

  29. 29
    The Blonde Duck says:

    I never make resolutions either.

  30. 30
    Cathy - wheresmydamnanswer says:

    Forget resolutions I like to call them goals or intentions.. The one thing I intend to do this year is get my motorcycle license!! That is a biggie along with the standard ones!! Happy New Year

  31. 31
    Mrs Perfect????? says:

    "I'm a picker. I'm a joker. I'm a midnight toker." O.k. so maybe The Steve Miller Band didn't say they were "pickers" in that song but I'm a picker too! (not sure what a "midnight toker" is)
    Love your site…food pics and writing style are great! Very funny.

  32. 32
    Diana's Cocina says:

    Your humor, I just love it! It cracks me up!! Thanks for being real…

  33. 33

    HA! I actually accomplished mine! I am DEBT-FREE!

  34. 34
    Seriously, so Blessed!! says:

    Thanks so much for your quick reply! So much help!!! I can't wait to see my husband's face when he sees the perfect steak! ha!

  35. 35
    Kitchen Butterfly says:

    Laughing so hard….love this post

  36. 36

    why on earth would you want to stop eating chocolate? that'd just be silly!

  37. 37

    hehehehe, very funny! Anyways, I guess we are on the same boat on things we want to improve on. But since I fail them yearly I decided not to make one anymore :-D Have a very prosperous New Year to you and your family!!

  38. 38

    ha ha ha hilarious! Love it!

  39. 39
    Tammy @ Defining Wellness says:

    This is an adorably honest post! I love it!

  40. 40
    Clumbsy Cookie says:

    And that's pretty much why I don't even bother to make solutions no more ahahahah!

  41. 41

    You gorgeous thing, you still are in your pretty years! But I know exactly what you mean. My lovely slim 20 year old thighs were so wasted on me.

  42. 42

    I'm with you;I didn't even bother with a resolution this year. When we're hot, we're hot. When we're not, we're not.

  43. 43

    The husband and I had resolved to omit soda pop from our diets..that worked until we went to McDonald's on January 5th…we just can't seem to get an extra value meal with a Hi-C orange (gag) or water. *shudders* :)

  44. 44
    Randa @ The Bewitchin' Kitchen says:

    Just stopped by and wanted to say, Great blog! Keep up the great work.