Sugar Cookies (a.k.a Hell)

christmas sugar cookies Disclaimer—-If you get offended by curse words stop here!!!! And don’t judge me for my awful piping skills! If you do, I will hunt you down and beat you with my wooden spoon!

Sooooo, I thought I get in the Christmas Spirit and make Fancy Decorated Sugar Cookies.
With all of my baking adventures, I have never made decorated cookies or worked with cut out cookies. Hmmmmm, wonder why?

I see this post and this post over at Our Best Bites, and I was inspired. She gives a wonderful tutorial on both the cookie making and the glazing. And her cookies are adorable. Check them out.
Ok so enough being nice. As I am still a little bitter! Making the dough was a cinch. Throw everything in my KA mixer and in 2 minutes its done and into the fridge to chill.
Geeze..this is easy peasy. Holiday Cheer and Joy is flowing!!!
8 pm. This is when the first pain in the assness begins. The dough was too hard to roll. So I let it sit out for a bit so I could roll it. Ditzo me left it out for toooo long and it got too soft to roll. DAMN IT! Back in the fridge. The my daughter proceeds to blow across the floured counter top. And now it is snowing flour in my kitchen. Oh, Happy days!(can you sense my sarcasm??)
After the second blast of fridgid air from the fridge I get the rolling and cutting down pat. Ohh, yeah, I am so doing this! I get all my cookies baked.(a double batch I might add, what the hell was I thinking??!!) I mix up the glaze and decide I want all white snowflakes. I love the look of white on white cookies. I also do all white Christmas lights. My husband wants colored on the tree, I want all white, I give puppy dog eyes, so we compromise and do all white!!! LOL
As I sit here reliving my piping hell and nursing my sore wrist, I vow never to make this many decorated sugar cookies, EVER AGAIN!
I piped the outline, let it dry. I glazed the center(which I now call the glaze, “self Leveling concrete”, cause that it what it reminds me of. Let that dry, then pipe all the freekin decorations. All those damn snowflakes. I know that a 6 MONTH old could probably do a better job at piping.
But it is 12:15 am.(do you recall I started at EIGHT!! Over 4 hours to make cookies!!HUH) What do you want from me at 12:15 am! Let me tell you, there was NO MORE HOLIDAY CHEER flowing in my house. I am now traumatized from these cookies! Don’t get me wrong they taste amazing. I just bit off more than I could chew. What else is new???

And at 12:15..I was sooo absurdly sick of my piping bag. I said screw it, and just painted on luster dust and called it a night.

Sugar Cookies

1 C real butter
1 C sugar 1 egg
1 1/2 t almond extract (you could use vanilla too)
3 C flour
1 1/2 t baking powder
1/2 t salt
Cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy- about 2 minutes. Add in eggs and extract and mix to incorporate.
In a separate bowl combine flour, baking powder and salt and whisk to combine. Slowly add the flour mixture to the butter mixture and mix until completely combined.
Shape the dough into 2 flat disks and wrap in waxed paper and place in the fridge to chill for 1-2 hours.
When you’re ready to roll out dough lightly sprinkle flour onto your work surface and roll out dough with a rolling pin.
Cut to your desired shape
Bake at 350 for 8-12 minutes.
Remove onto cooling racks when you’re done and let cool completely.
Decorate as you like.
I doubled the above recipe. But I couldnt even tell you how many they made. Cause I didnt count. Again..I was flustered!
Glacé Icing
1lb powdered sugar (about 3 3/4 C)
1/4 C + 2T C whole milk (low-fat actually works, but use whole if you can)
1/4 C + 2T light Corn Syrup
1 t extract (I use almond because I use almond in my sugar cookies)
With a whisk, combine sugar and milk until smooth . Then stir in corn syrup and extract.You will use this same recipe for both glazing and piping. The way it is right now is the consistency you need it for glazing. Nice and thin.
To prepare the icing for piping, you just add more powdered sugar. You can’t really mess it up because if it’s too thick you just add more milk and if it’s to thin, you add more powdered sugar.
It is ready for piping when it gets difficult to whisk.
Want to see what I WATED and wished my cookies to look like???Nice and fancy and all professional looking. Click here.
I saw Sweet and Saucys post after my 4 1/4 hours of cookie hell. Talk about wanting to crawl under a rock!

Comments

  1. 1
    My Sweet & Saucy says:

    Your post is making me laugh so hard! You are way to hard on yourself!!! The cookies turned out great…I can’t believe it is your first time! Believe me…I have seen a lot of people’s “first attempt” and you are among the top. Hope you enjoy the look just as much as the taste!

  2. 2

    They look very nice but decorated cookies are too much of a pain in the ass for me to make. I let my kids make a few then I do all circles and sprinkle them.

  3. 3

    well, girl can I say this is why I do not like holiday sugar cookies. your icing, glazing, whatever, skills are far better than mine would ever attempt to be. you did a good job for first time, seriously. that whole roll out the dough, and cut cookies is not for me…nooooo
    I like that blue color though.

  4. 4
    Mama Moose says:

    I just wanted to let you know that your cookies are so beautiful!
    themoosehouse at gmail dot com

  5. 5
    Bunny Trails says:

    Your cookies are gorgeous! You are WAY too hard on yourself. I think they look as good as the ones I buy from the bakery! You should be really proud!

    All of that being said, you were cracking me up! They definitely seem like way more trouble than they are worth!

  6. 6

    Great job! They look good!

  7. 7

    These are beautiful! But my favorite part is…”My husband wants colored on the tree, I want all white, so we compromise and do all white!!!” I love this part about you.
    Now, to blow my own horn, check this out… http://www.totallytabletops.blogspot.com/ As you say, I could just piddle my pants.

  8. 8

    I swear like a sailor, so no worries about the cursing, haha ;-)

    I commend you for going through all that to decorate the cookies!! I don’t have the patience for piping and all that.

  9. 9

    I think they look pretty darn good. I always think decorating cookies sounds like fun until about the 4th cookie….

  10. 10

    You can rest assured that these look darling. Sore wrists or not, worth it, eh? A glass or two of wine will make everything better :)

  11. 11

    Believe me, those look way better than my attempt. I will try again later. My husband saw mine and told me that Sara makes prettier cookies than I do. Bite me, I say… :)

  12. 12

    They turned out beautiful. Your post definitely makes me laugh. My aunt had a similar story last year, but her cookies were so horrid she wouldn’t show *anyone* pictures.

    Love the luster dust ones!

  13. 13

    They are beautiful,Leslie. Just remember they were worth all the pain and Torture with each and every delicious bite.

  14. 14

    WTH are you talking about? Your cookies look great! I think I’ll be posting mine tomorrow. But seriously, Leslie, your cookies look great!

  15. 15

    sugar cookies are such a pain, that’s why I probably only make them so seldomly. Yours however look beautiful!

  16. 16

    Umm are you kidding? These are beautiful but I know the effort is a killer…but you did good.

  17. 17

    They look great! I tried to make sugar cookies with frosting the other day. We didn’t have any baking powder, so I substituted baking soda and salt. They turned out horrible.

  18. 18

    They look lovely, Leslie! I think you did a wonderful job. I decorated some sugar cookies tonight and woo boy, what a pain! I like the luster dust one!

  19. 19

    holy bejeesus! those sugar cookies are adorably magnificent! my sugar cookies are just… cookies. and if someone makes a remark about how undecorated they are, i snap “can your stomach tell if it’s decorated or not? that’s right didn’t think so now shut up.”

    well, i don’t really say that. but i’m always tempted to behind my polite smile.

  20. 20
    Tina at Mommy's Kitchen says:

    The cookies look great. You try to achieve perfection just as I do. LOL I thought you did a awesome job.

  21. 21

    Oh you’re hilarious. I apologize as I feel somewhat responsible! But, hey- don’t say I didn’t warn ya about that double batch being huge! And what are you talking about? Your cookies are super cute! I’m loving the luster dust. But hey, if it makes you feel any better I can’t make acorns out of doughnut holes :( haha.

  22. 22

    oh, do hunt me down… but just because i want to get these amazingly festive white sugar cookies… they are amazing!!! it doesn’t look like it’s your first time…. :) and btw, how wonderful for you to give the coupons to your sis, i was just thinking of suggesting you give it to her… send her a big hug too… :)

  23. 23

    LOL! Well, there went my thoughts of baking and decorating sugar cookies with a package I’m expecting anyday!

    Why do we do this to ourselves? I have a list (LOVE lists)of things I need/want to accomplish this week. I’ve added on more than I’ve scratched off!
    ~ingrid

  24. 24

    Aw shucks…for the comments. Love you dearly!

  25. 25

    now, now, leslie. the end result is totally worth it, no? both in visual appeal and in taste. i commend you. :)

  26. 26

    OH girl, you have me laughing out loud! I so feel your pain! But wow, they look stunningly beautiful!!

    I just got done making some, my son lasted 5 minutes.

  27. 27

    I just spent 3 hours decorating mine. I HATE cutout cookies. And believe me, they look like a preschooler decorated them. Yours, on the other hand, are gorgeous. Good job.
    Tammy

  28. 28

    They are lovely! You are hilarious! After all that work are the cookies just going to be eaten? Almost seems a shame, or at least charge pain and suffering for anyone that eats them! ;)
    They really are great.

  29. 29

    I can totally relate to this post! I love cut-out cookies, but am terrible at decorating them! No judgement here! LOL! BTW – yours look fantastic!

  30. 30

    They look gorgeous, I didn’t even bother decorating cookies this year because it stresses me out :P; they wouldn’t have come out this pretty either!

  31. 31

    Stop beating yourself up! i wish my cutouts looked that great.

  32. 32

    ROFL – I am cracking up. I am soooo with you on the whole decorated sugar cookie thing. They are waaaay overrated, however yours look gorgeous!

  33. 33

    This post is hilarious! I recently had a run in with sugar cookies, so I empathize.

    Thee cookies look really good!

  34. 34

    Wow… beautiful sugar cookies! :)

  35. 35

    hehehehe, well darling your cookies are amazing and your piping skills..hmmm Im JEALOUS!!! hunt and beat me with your wooden spoon LOL

  36. 36

    My dear, I really think your cookies are GORGEOUS! Truly! Love the white on white to no end (I too allow only white lights in the house). Really, just darling! :)

  37. 37

    Leslie, I was hoping for some real cussin’!

    Practice makes perfect and I’m sure they tasted yummo.

  38. 38
    Clumbsy Cookie says:

    Yep they can be a pain sometimes but they are cuteeeeee! I actually think you did very well, don’t be so herd of yourself!

  39. 39

    They look perfect to me! Your hard work paid off.

  40. 40

    Just read your post about the “sugar cookies”. I have decided I like looking at yours so much I am not going to attempt it this year. But I had a good laugh and enjoyed your post.

  41. 41

    this is one of the funniest posts i have read!!!!!

  42. 42

    Your cookies are lovely. I would never commit that much time when DSO just shoves them in his mouth as fast as he can. I once made Sarah Bernhard’t. When I figured it out, they cost me over $1 each to make and that wasn’t even the labor!

  43. 43
    Delicious Design says:

    I came over from my cousins blog (Little Nummies) and I just have to say, your cookies look DELISH.. although they were a PITA.. they still came out nice!

    However, I’ll stick to cupcakes (laughs)

  44. 44

    These look great Leslie, wish I had your patience, I think I would’ve just thrown a hissy fit and gone to bed! xxx

  45. 45

    Aww, sugar cookies can always seem like a better idea than they end up being when you’re in the middle of ‘em :) Great finished cookies, though, your snowflakes are perfect!

    I’m making pickle and ice cream shaped sugar cookies at the end of January for a friend who is hosting a baby shower….I’m already dreading the work!

  46. 46
    Kym Marson says:

    hahahahaha That is so funny!! I swear that could have been me posting. Your cookies look gorgeous. So often when I bake I start with all good intentions (usually that my daughter should experience baking with Mummy) and often it ends in a “what the heck was I thinking???” moment.
    Merry Christmas

  47. 47

    Sounds a lot like my sugar cookie cut out experience this year. See http://5thsister.blogspot.com/2008/12/what-i-did-this-past-weekend.html for the glorious details!

  48. 48

    And even after all of that, I’ll willing to bet you’re ready for the next baking round on V day, aren’t you. [wink]

    The results were spectacular though, so take a bow!

  49. 49

    Just got on looking for rice pudding recipes and found your sugar cookies. What a blast! My secret for the sugar cookies is using Betty Crocker sugar cookie packs and then decorating but not as pretty as yours. I use all the cookie packs and now they have (but not out yet) gingerbread cookies I want to make gingerbread boys.

  50. 50

    Oh my gosh, I laughed so hard at this post! I found your site when I googled Kraft Baker’s recipes. I notcied you are also a daring baker! I’m excited for my first challenge this month. Anyways, I absolutely HATE making sugar cookies. They look and sound so easy, but they are such a pain. Although mine never looks as gorgeous as yours! I love the dust! OH and your kids are so amazingly adorable! I love your son’s blazer/jeans combo. So cute!

  51. 51

    Jamy,
    Thanks so very much..my kids are pretty darn cute!!!
    And the sugar cookies…grrrrrrr!
    Good luck on your 1st DB challenge

  52. 52
    Cupcake Queen says:

    These are my favorite!! so prettyyyyyy

  53. 53

    they look so GOOD…. @least u have patience i would've made the cookie n called it a night. :)